The Maldives
Tuesday 4th to Tuesday 11th September 2007
A week-long holiday in the Maldives was the perfect tonic after a hard summer. The Maldives (officially the Republic of Maldives) comprises 1,192 islets, of which roughly 200 are inhabited by local communities. The Maldives is the smallest Asian country by population and its capital is Malé. We were staying at a resort island, Olhuveli Beach & Spa Resort, part of the South Malé Atoll, a 50-mile speedboat ride from Malé airport (which is on its own island).
Well now, that was one helluva factual start wasn't it? By now, you'll be craving some photos, I would expect, since that's what you've come onto this page for. But first, I want to talk about the flight over. It was something like a seven- or eight-hour flight with Monarch airlines. It harked back to the old school system of a TV in either aisle every 15 seat rows or so. And they didn't really work. They were showing a film, which stopped working, so they had to fast forward through to the bit we were up to. At one point, one of the stewardesses said "technology, eh", to which I replied (to Lynne not the stewardess): "what technology?". Also, for a relatively long flight, the seats were quite cramped. We would recommend that you do not fly with them.
What they were not to blame for, however, was the storm that surrounded the Maldives as we approached them. It was severe enough for us not to be able to land and disruptive enough to turn the flight, as we circled incessantly, into some sort of never-ending rollercoaster. It also turned the cabin into a puke factory. I got used to the up and down motion of the plane, but I wasn't so happy with the sound of vomiting passengers. In the end, I just closed my eyes and took big deep breaths, and eventually we had landed. Once we were on the ground, people hastily transferred their bags of sick to somewhere more suitable.
After getting our luggage, it turned out that the seas were too choppy for us to go on the boat that would take us to Olhuveli. We debated eating something (we were getting hungry by this point), but we decided against it. That was probably a wise decision. When we did go on the boat, we began to wonder just how choppy was too choppy, since it was a pretty bumpy ride. In order to take our mind of the relentless nausea, they helpfully played back-to-back Tom & Jerry cartoons. Unfortunately, that distracted us from looking out the window, which was the best way to relieve the sickness. Here is an indication of the choppiness.
However, once we got to Olhuveli, the hospitality couldn't be faulted. We were told to sit at a table by the water, while they brought us food, drinks and our check-in documentation. We didn't have to do anything - no queuing in reception to get your room keys. With the weather still not clearing up, there are no decent photos of the first day or two until the evening of the second night. Here we are, keenly snapped by the waiter.
In fact, here he is, our friendly "number one" waiter. Each waiter seemed to be designated a few tables, and ours was one of his. We had gone all inclusive, so one of his tasks was to bring me as many free beers as possible. Given that it was a buffet restaurant for every meal, it was difficult not to eat too much, a holiday habit as it was anyway.
We then headed to the outside tables near the bar and, for some reason, ordered bright blue cocktails, even though they may not have been included in the list of free drinks. (I say "free" - obviously we paid a premium for this but, thanks to an itemised receipt at the end of the week, we were well up on the deal.) And note my obligatory pint of Tiger.
Before the night was through (and the night started early given the close proximity of the Maldives to the equator), there is time for a shot of a scary tree. Wooo.
Next morning, it was time to find out one of the reasons that we had chosen to come here: the gorgeous blue sea and pristine white sand.
In the warm light of day, here is the Sunset Restaurant, where we spent the vast majority of mealtimes.
And along the pier is the diving school, carefully placed just where the sea gets deeper quickly.
Night three and it was time for Lynne to pose (again).
They put on various pieces of entertainment during the week at the main bar. On one night, it was time for crab racing. This was my prize racer. We (I) did think of some stunningly amusing name for it. Can I remember it? No. Please ignore the weird wet patch on my midriff. That was probably condensation from the beer glass.
Here is how to look suave, sophisticated and downright casual when waiting to crab race.
The excitable host asked me for the name, and I gave it. But what was it? It wasn't Crab C Nesbitt, although that may well have been one of the suggestions. Or Count Crabula (thanks Lynne). Answers on a postcard, please. Damn that wet patch.
And, what do you know, my boy won! In the heat. Here is my (heat) victory celebration. Look at the feeling. The joy.
We were so proud of our young crab. Unfortunately, the photographer didn't have a steady hand.
And so on to the final, as a shaft of light in what could have been a telling sign.
The race was almost too exciting for words. Almost. I think mine is the one in the lead here actually, second from the left.
Go crab! Go crab! (No, still can't think of the name.)
Unfortunately, it wasn't to be, and my crab finished second. I don't actually remember if I won anything for second place. Everything about the resort pointed towards providing that extra bit of care and attention. Witness, for example, what they did with our bed every single day. We barely make our beds each day, eh.
Time for some setting sun action.
Another day and it was time for a boat trip. Lynne looked on with impassive coolness.
This is probably a bit snazzier than the boat we were in.
It doesn't show much, this photo, but I just kinda liked it. So there.
Lynne, the crack swimmer, was ready for some snorkellin' action. I don't think you need to put it in just yet, Lynne. She actually assures me that this is her "just popping to the shops" look. Really, she is at the forefront of fashion. It's just that people don't know it. Yet.
More in a bit.
So, we reached one of our destinations, ready to start snorkelling. Here is what the sea looked like - very inviting.
We then sailed on to find some dolphins. There were quite a few of them (not as many as we subsequently saw off the coast of New Zealand, but still plenty nevertheless).
I set the camera to speed shot in order to try to get the best pictures possible. Unfortunately, it occasionally meant getting a random person's arm in the way. Oi, move!
They came pretty close to the boat too, aiming to entertain as usual.
Here are some snorkellers in action.
Before long, we were back at Olhuveli. This is looking back along the pier to the main island.
Time for a new page.