South Lakeland 2015

South Lakeland Leisure Village

(near Carnforth)

June 2015

Another day, another season, and we start this particular day, which I shall call Tuesday, with a little picnic between Daisy and Gregory, the former generously feeding the latter with some imaginary food.

And so we headed to the South Lakes Safari Zoo for yet more animal action.

A nice, friendly sign warned us not to give the lemurs bananas, chips or ice-cream, or indeed dismembered hands. Frankly, most creatures' behaviours change if given all that food. Gregory goes crazy at the sight of potato-based products.

Difficult to take a great photo of the moustachioed monkey but that turned out to be a good thing as I caught Lynne mimicking it in the reflection. She only does this to the smaller creatures who are locked inside a glass box. These are actually called Emperor Tamarins. Y'know, for the record.

Here is an Andean Bear, looking a bit lonely and introspective. He (or possibly she) does have some mates somewhere...

...not just in the form of other bears but also these monkeys, which I think are (entirely from memory) Colombian Spider Monkeys, although I don't know whether they are Spider Monkeys from Colombia or monkeys that eat Colombian spiders. It doesn't matter, I suppose.

This guy looked a bit sad, like he was doing the Krypton factor way after the cast and crew had gone home.

And in the distance, there was an albino monkey also choosing to engage in solitary philosophy.

This Giant Otter (it didn't seem that giant, but probably was amongst the normal otter community) got a bit put out by everyone looking at the bears and monkeys, and the microphoned zooperson talking about bears and monkeys to everyone, so started making a helluva noise and pushing its torso out of the water. It's ok now, I've captured your picture and put it on the internet. You can rest easy; you've found fame.

These, my friends, are Humboldt Penguins having something of a conference.

Oh my god no! Don't do it! Of course, this is a fake hippo, which positively encouraged (or that may have been me) Daisy to put her head in its mouth for comedy effect. Of course, hippopotamuses are actually really deadly - they kill almost 3,000 people a year. So don't do it at home, kids.

This flamingo carefully eyed up someone who may have been mocking them...

...and that someone was young Daisy Allen.

I don't particularly like to see animals in captivity (although I'm visiting a safari zoo - what do I expect), it's times like these that I'm pretty glad there is a cage in between me and this lazy-looking but lethal lion. Although the wire mesh was too small to zoom through, dammit.

This I think is a King Vulture, but it is a bizarre-looking creature, with its beady eyes and mangled-looking beak.

Just to illustrate the wingspan of some of the vultures and condors in the big bird enclosure (which was a bit reminiscent of Jurassic Park 2, with the pterodactyl cage), Daisy stood against this picture. Not even close.

So here's Mr Jaguar looking cool, calm and collected, and ready to pounce. I'll stay just here, thanks.

I specifically took a picture of this to capture the wonderful "Food Waste" examples. Why it bothered with the first couple of examples, I don't know, but they are very evocative of what food might be and no less than a great help, particularly in a moment of panic I would imagine. I also like that I have captured part of the sign saying "please guide your children wisely", a maxim by which all parents generally try to operate, were their nerves not torn to shreds by tiredness, whining and miscellaneous antagonism. What YOU do with that is entirely up to you.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Red & Green Macaw, of which I just caught a glimpse on the way to lunch. Naturally I had to take a photo.

So yeah, lunch. It happened. Gregory was customarily shushed with a salty carbohydrate snack...

...whilst a coated Daisy patiently waited by the giraffe enclosure.

Sorry, I meant the giraffe and reindeer enclosure. ("Where shall I put these reindeer, Jeff?", "Er, does it not say on your delivery notes?", "No", "Oh. Maybe put them in the giraffe enclosure? Perhaps no-one will notice.")

Daisy Allen. Another reptile tamed. Although she does look a bit apprehensive and the crocodile (or alligator) does look quite mad. So perhaps this story is not over.

Daisy and I went on a bit of wander, shuffling past a couple of emus only to notice the peacock in full feather mode. Full feather jacket...

"Um, actually Mr Peacock, we'd quite like to use that bridge. What's that you say? You'd rather we didn't? Ok then, you're the boss." They do make pretty effective small bridge-keepers. (As in the keepers of small bridges, rather than small... oh, you get what I mean.)

And if the peacock gets any trouble, he calls in his mate, the What-the-hell-is-that? bird. Anyway, this here is crazy feather country. Let's get out of here.

This whole part of the zoo was very interactive in the sense that you were very much amongst the animals, as Daisy and I continued to venture forth along the myriad paths. Some of the animals were small, such as the Praire Marmot.

And there were larger animals, such as the two-bottomed kangaroo. Or perhaps it's dinner time at mum's, er, under-table.

Daisy looked on with fascination.

I've seen these crested cranes before. They must be quite popular.

"Has anyone seen my emu?" This picture just shows we were free to mingle.

By order of the management, enforced by this moustachioed bird.

Those ducks have huge webbing. I don't want to draw attention to it, but it is huge. I can't look at anything else now. Uh-oh, he's getting his mates along now.

These baby rhinoceroses have been allowed to mess around in the arts and craft cupboard. I told you they'd make a mess.

There's not much more of a frightening but also disheartening sight as a powerful tiger turning round and round in a small enclosure. Reminiscent of a big cat we saw at Singapore Night Safari.

Don't get up, lads. It's not like we've come far. They just can't be bothered. Lazy.

More active were the jaguars, who were messing about with a small tree and each other. Who was going to tell them to stop? I certainly wasn't.

And this guy can doze if he wants to. Go ahead, my friend.

Oh brilliant, I've managed to take a picture of nothing. Hah, just kidding, Mr Snow Leopard. I'm not that stupid. Just let me know where your two mates are, yeah?

Every so often it's only fair to give the little champ a walk around. He wasn't quite walking by himself yet but his time would come.

This mighty baboon has assumed the doorman responsibilities.

"I wouldn't sit on that - it's blummin' hot."

And inside, near the primate plain, was the rhinoceros enclosure. Fairly glad I'm a few feet up.

"Oi, come back here you, where do you think you're going?"

And that was the South Lakes Safari Zoo, which has pretty much taken up this whole page. You may now venture, largely animal-free, to page three.

Other options include returning to the Secret Portal and going back to your day job.