Sarah & Gareth's weddinG
The Church
After a fiendishly Graham-concocted car puzzle, we all ended up at the church, located in sunny (well, cloudy) Middleton.
Your photographer got one in early on the video-lady, perhaps fearing inevitable retribution anyway.
Look! You can see Louise in the background, rushing somewhere... Your photographer managed to get the rowdy rabble together for a couple of family photos (including Paul R).
How delightful. Fearing that the above shot was perhaps a bit too strait-laced, your photographer took a more arty, in fact slightly sinister-looking, shot.
See the subtle looks of "what the hell is he doing?" on their faces. With not many people yet at the church (or, at least, waiting outside), the video-lady regaled two of the three best men with tales of how, at the last wedding she went to, she had to fend off a flock of confetti-hungry birds. Meanwhile, the official photographer looked on with pity.
With a bit of time to play with, Avis and Lynne looked at the, um, stones.
A fancy car arrived...
Lynne tried a natural pose, looking genuinely like she's having a good time...
...but then Louise arrives on the scene, doing her Bugs Bunny impression, which has the effect of making Lynne look a little possessed.
Above is the first fairly close-up of the fascinator, the large protrusion off the top of her head. In case you missed it, here it is in super close-up.
People emerged from the fancy car... the bridesmaids and the bride's mother!
Cleverly, we decided to wait a little while outside the church before deciding to rush to the pub for a quick drink in advance of the service. Obligatory shot of the glorious, golden fun-juice...
Paul R was certainly happy with the turn of events, which Louise thought hilarious.
However, once we sat down, we realised that the bride would be arriving any minute and we were not where we were meant to be. So we hastily quaffed our beverages and headed swiftly to the church... but we were too late! Quick... run!
The video-camerawoman didn't waste any time, but neither did we, and in the blink of an eye we were in the church. Phew. Other Paul and Louise try to look calm and collected, as if they haven't just downed a pint and legged it from the nearest pub. Avis gives a discreet "I told you so" look in the background.
We wondered what to make of the following message.
The reverend (or whatever) kept a lid on the excitement for a second...
..and there even seemed to be a little reticence ("Shall I, Dad?", "Go for it, Sarah")...
...but it was to no avail - the excitement and anticipation spilled forth...
...and they headed down the aisle, with Sarah's flowing white dress billowing out behind her...
...before they all lined up before the, um, vicar.
A young girl possibly wanting a wee aside, there was little to disturb the hush that fell over the onlookers as they got to the crucial bit...
And then suddenly, it was all over. They emerged from the signing room (technical term) to be greeted by cameras galore, this action shot framing the aisle chaos that ensued, the video lady perfecting her ability to be in two places at the same time.
More shots of the happy couple...
...and even time for a cheeky chappy look from Gareth ("Wahey, I've done it, lads!" perhaps).
It was all too much for some of us, however.
Well, yes, it's a wedding, so everyone wanted as many different photo opportunities and angles as possible, your photographer included, who tried to go for something the official photographer might not. Here is the now-married couple...
...being greeted by the paparazzi...
...before the official snapper instructed Sarah to do a quick forward roll on the grass verge for the cameras.
Sarah, wisely, declined. Of more excitement to this young girl, was the objective of retrieving a small ring of flowers (what do you call them?)...
The last few shots before the camera ran out of battery (good planning, huh) were of the bridesmaids and proud parents ("This Nutter guy better put on a decent spread")...
...and the Schofield girls, Louise and Lynne, casting eyes over the madding crowd and chatting with a well-shaded Avis respectively.
Luckily, however, Louise also had a camera, so all was not lost. There was much rejoicing. Other Paul, meanwhile, felt he deserved better transport to the reception...
...what a suave and sophisticated gentleman. "Driver, take me to my hotel would you, dear boy?" There was a bit of chaos when the confetti was in short supply and so there was a scrum to get some second hand.
Other Paul, meanwhile, prompted Louise to pose for a photo, but there was something just far too amusing that was distracting her.
Eventually she towed the line...
...but perhaps just a little too much. The next picture says a thousand words, but here a few. Avis: "Bugger off with that blasted camera, will, you." Graham: "Come on, luvvie, just smile for the camera."
Hang on a sec, how did I end up on the other side of the lens? Ah, it's Louise's camera before I got hold of it... I also somehow display a drunken, leering quality, despite only having the one (emergency) beer before the service.
Graham's encouraging words seem to have had an effect. Either that or Avis is now just putting on a show for other Paul. Regardless, she remains well-shaded.
The bride's parents, Louise and a partially-obscured Peter, discuss something with some random guy I don't know (sorry, random guy!).
With the main (legal & ceremonial) business complete, we all located our transport to the reception venue, after flicking through to section 2 of Graham's hastily put together 'The Big Day - Travel & Transport' manual. On to Nutters By Day.