Lucia & Tim's Wedding
Lough Erne Golf Resort, Enniskillen, Northern Ireland
Saturday 5th July 2008
Back at the hotel, Team Blue & Pink (aka Schoey and Ross) get their priorities straight and head for the champagne lady. Cheers!
The obligatory bride and groom photos commence, unfortunately just as the wind plays havoc with some well-coiffured styles. Not a bad backdrop, though, eh.
Still being attacked by an insect... ok, hang on, that's formal headwear isn't it... Laureen eagerly attempts to get some exclusives...
...which is a good job as the official photographer doesn't know which end of the camera is which. Not a good sign. And what on earth is that weird blue thing?
More posing for the official photographer.
Back at champagne central, Lynne and Charlene smile from a distance.
Lo and behold, it's the wedding-mobile, picking up the bride and groom, presumably taking them back to their room while we wait at the main hotel where the reception is.
The bride and groom relax and enjoy, but the driver and co-driver look to be taking this seriously... ("Left, 2nd, easy followed by crest, then right, 3rd, easy" being the instructions barked by the co-driver.)
Alas, in the mild summer sunshine, Orla begins to melt.
In a scene slightly reminiscent of the gang warfare of Grease, chief co-ordinator Laureen orchestrates proceedings, the gloves adding to the general fear factor surrounding her ("Oi, you - go there! You - stay where you are!"). Ross simply tries to look menacing. It is not clear who is the subject of their ire.
The girls pose, with the "squint please, Lynnes" instruction being followed to perfection.
Oh to be young and able to sprawl out on the grass without a care in the world again.
Never mind the bride and bridesmaids; here is true beauty.
Lynnes A and S share a moment.
The three Ls enjoy a moment of hilarity.
Who could Charlene and Ross be photographing...?
Of course, the girls (left to right: Nikky, Orla, Laureen, Lynne A, Lynne S). Well, you don't get to wear your glad rags that often, do you. Might as well take advantage of it.
Ross lines one up as the girls really get into the posing lark. Ready, aim, fire. You just can't tear those Lynnes apart.
Show us yer hands, girls...
Ross says enough is enough and gets in on the action, showing impressive reach. Hello ladies...
And sure enough, they can't resist his Irish charms. By the look of Schoey's hair, we're looking at about 5 on the Beaufort scale.
Fresh from, er, freshening up, Lucia joins the fray.
The girls cannae help but put on a show...
Right, time for the business end of the day: the evening do. Lynne is unperturbed at her crinkle cut straightening by the second.
The candlestick arrangements look like a fire hazard waiting to happen.
Lynne gives Ross a real poser.
Regular readers will know that there are a number of features common to my photos. One is the obligatory shot of beer (see above). Another is to take pictures of what, in Masterchef parlance is "a really good plate of food". Here we can see an excellent slab of roast beef and pancetta-wrapped asparagus. Just needs an extra something... pass the gravy! Lynne betrays her past as a finger model.
Lucia began to do the rounds, prompting a drunken sway from Lynne and mild interest from Ross.
There was no discrimination at the wedding - dwarves were equally well catered for.
Oh hello, who's this. I must have passed my camera to Nikky or something. Jazz hands make an unwelcome appearance.
Schoey is, rightly, suspicious of the camera's proximity.
A silhouetted view of the speeches.
Lynne readied herself for some camera action - the happy couple were about to strut their stuff.
Not quite ready yet - Tim had to explain what was going to happen.
The scene was set...
...and lo and behold, they were dancing. Tim employed some of his better twirling manoeuvres. He didn't let on but he had actually been training for this dance for 6 months. Unfortunately, I didn't quite catch the double backward somersault with pike that he did after this moment.
Not sure what this dance move was, though.
Charlene, Icarus-like, looks to be getting a little close to the candelabra (um, actually, I think if there's just one it might be candelabrum, but not entirely sure - anyway). In actual fact, the New York, New York group hug wall blocked any easy camera angles, so Charlene was just getting a better viewpoint.
Hard to really take a decent photo. Suffice to say that there was a lot of people on the dance floor for the band's finale.
Once the band had finished their fine performance, the music system crackled into life. Laureen was one of the first back to the floor, but seemed a little reticent.
The same can't be said of LC Schofield, who delighted in her air bass guitar playing.
Upon instruction, local tenor Ross Treacle croons his way through another number. He has a lot to give the music world. Will they be willing to listen?
Orla has a moment so Ross grabs hold, while others continue to boogie on down regardless.
Uh oh - it's this crazy couple again...
After the music stopped, the shy staff members hung around waiting for the final clear-up. Some party-goers (foolishly) headed to the residents' bar for early morning drinkage.
And some lived to regret a second late night on the booze...
The end.
Click for part 1 or the Secret Portal.