Crowden horseshoe

13 September 2009

A rare walking excursion (for me), with Matt & Jonny, saw us venture into the southern Pennines in the Peak District.  And in the beginning, Jonny goes to slap Matt on the back.  He was slap happy that day.  Jonny has added his own comments (before mine, indeed) via Sky Drive.  Jonny's comments on this: "Crowden - the easy bit at the start".

Jonny says this is "Crowden Weir".  So that's what it is.  Looking like a lovely day.

A lovely shot down the stream.

Jonny says "good photo Paul!" but time for a little secret: it was actually under instruction from Matt.

This is on the path leading to "the Pennine Way heading north below Black Tor".  I took a moment to take in the scenery (not for knackered reasons at this stage) and to see how much Matt shoots off ahead if you let him.

Jonny says "sad".  I'd say more "forlorn".

Already, and we were still heading upwards, there was a stunning view from whence we came.  Jonny confirms that this is "looking back south up Crowden Brook towards Bleaklow".  And who am I to argue.

"Let's rock!" proclaims Jonny.  Boulderdash!

Erm, some hills.  Jonny is speechless here so I can't help you out.

"A pep talk - those who snooze lose" says Jonny.  Who is that character from the Fast Show?  A bit of internet scanning later, and I can reveal it is Dave Angel - Eco Warrior.

Ok, so I can't find the bit where he points whilst "Moonlight Shadow" plays (you can see it on YouTube if you really want).  But, separated at birth?

Jonny confesses that this looks "really sad", but in reality it was "really sensible".  I tried to keep up with Matt and not stop (apart from 20 seconds to catch my breath and stop my head spinning).  But it was a long, steep climb that almost had me feeling like I wanted to be sick.  Not a good start.

"Bit of the old haze looking south from Laddow Rocks" asserts Jonny, but it is actually a mixture of new haze and old haze.  There is often such confusion made in academic circles.  It's also Crowden Brook from a bit higher and a bit further away.

"Don't look down - the view north from Laddow Rocks."  Yeah, I tried not to mostly, as I staggered weak-legged along the top, but a shot of this madman was too tempting to pass on.

Staggering along the hill top edge, I dropped back to take the above photo and one of Matt & Jonny.  Cooo-eee!

Matt again went charging off and nearly scared a sheep to death.  Suddenly, we noticed a few of them hanging around.

This prompted Jonny to pen a number of old jokes: "Safe, we are not Welsh", "Welsh leisure centre" and "A good night out in Glamorgan".  Ho hum.

There then followed a bizarre ritual where Matt & Jonny collected plastic containers full of dirty, bitty water ready for when they bathe each other naked later.  Or something.  I wanted no part of it anyway.  Jonny comments that "he's going bald" - we presume he means himself rather than Matt - and that "we take the colour [and bits] out to make tea".  Oh, not the bathing then.  Phew.

A small oily puddle with rainbow reflections gave a neat photo opportunity.  Jonny spoils it by saying "flagged footpath at Grains Moss".  The bottom bit might be.  But the main shot is of a small oily puddle with rainbow reflections.  So there.

We made it to Soldier's Lump (it says here), so time for a quick moody pose.

We had set a decent pace over the slow, paved incline, with Jonny drifting off the back then "chatting to an old gentleman" who was wearing disturbingly short shorts, almost from the Alan Partridge school.  In a series of photos reminiscent of the castle scene in Monty Python & The Holy Grail [imagine the drums during each shot].  Jonny says that this is a shot of "Black Hill on a dry day looking north", but I'm not sure if he noticed himself as a dot on the horizon, heh heh.  We waited...

And we waited ("stopped for a rest - I mean a chat")...

And we waited... (following the original movie reference, Jonny would then spring upon us, proclaiming "aha" and stab us both - but he didn't).

And finally, he made it, taking a picture of the brothers Allen with his mobile.  Looking moody and cool.  And pretty bored of waiting.

Jonny says "I suppose that's why they call it a bog" (the original Bernie Taupin lyrics to Elton John's 'I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues'), but I was more trying to get the Bury wind farms in the distance.  Do you see?

Boring of the chat with a random guy (it was interesting to start with, and it's lonely up here so helpful to interact with strangers in general, but I was starting to stiffen up and cool down), I wandered off, to be sneakily captured by Jonny's mobile phone camera.

"Matt keen on a cairn", which is a mouthful enough, but he was just looking for somewhere to unload upon.  Mentally, you understand.

We then hunted down some shelter for the obligatory tea and bacon butty combo, passing by a strange area with the, um, peat covered by hair netting with passages surrounding them.  "Geo-jute on Black Hill" says Jonny, and it's hard to find the words to reply to that.  If only because I have no idea what it means.

Jonny suspects that "Paul can't wait for lunch" but, in reality, I had more or less collapsed with exhaustion, having treated the initial climb as a sprint and not a marathon.  All part of the fun.  But mild resuscitation was not needed.  'Til later.

But it had been a long, hard morning, and the two regular walkers could not stand the sight of each other.  I had tried to get them to talk again, but it did not look like it was working.  Maybe bacon ciabatta butties could bring them together.  As Jonny says: "they're supposed to be enjoying this".

There was no sign of the tension breaking, despite the offer of a coffee made of brown water with bits in it.  Oh come on, lads.  Jonny papers over the cracks by referring to him as "Matt ace cook" before confirming the alchemist's process: "tea/coffee adding flavour to brown water".  I stuck with bottled water.  Or tap water in a bottle, anyway.  It wasn't brown, anyway, that's the main thing.

Whilst freezing myself silly (it's surprising how a lack of sun, a bit of altitude and a surfeit of whipping wind can drop the temperature so quickly - it had been a nice day and, consequently, I was ill-prepared and had to borrow additional clothing to survive), I took the opportunity to take a scenic photo (there ain't many other kind when you are up there).  Apparently, this is "looking south across Tooleyshaw Moss on the return trip" but we hadn't actually set off at this point.  Bacon was still being eaten and pots were still being cleaned.

The masterchef in action (we just wanna see a good plate of food).  From south to north, bacon cooking in well-used pan, piss in a jar, the rest of the bacon, and finally the ready-and-waiting, still-slightly-warm ciabatta with fresh tomatoes.  Yum yum.  As Jonny puts it: "bacon butties par excellence".

One of Matt's main political issues is the treatment of "hoodies", i.e. young teenagers who insist, during clement weather, on wearing hoods to look cool.  Matt believes, from his heart of hearts, that they deserve a fair trial.  And one of his main campaign stunts is to act like a hoodie, mostly in public.  Here he gives us a demonstration of his work.  Jonny adds, simply, "yo".

Belying a look of "it ain't tasted this good since I kneeled for the navy", Jonny enjoys his ciabatta with some vigour and a little humility (one hopes).  His actual thoughts (added after the event) were: "bloody gorgeous, though you wouldn't think so from the expression", although he spelt it "gourgeous", no doubt an old Kentish term, meaning 'food of the gods'.

Whilst I was patiently waiting for the clear-up operation (and trying not to stiffen up completely in the chill wind and inactive contribution), it was time for "another photo showing how big Tooleyshaw Moss can look".  Ok, but sorry, I was bored.  Or rather: I fancied taking as many shots of this amazing scenery as possible, whilst trying to keep warm.

Time to limber up, and we each have our own way of doing so.  As Jonny puts it: "ready to move out", all bacon'd up and ready to go.  Matt pretends that his method of adorning his rucksack is cool, but really he's about to launch into a pseudo-Flashdance routine.  It was so special (needs) that I couldn't capture it on camera.

As we headed back on the return leg, on the other side of the stream, we had a lovely view "looking south to the Longdendale Valley from Tooleyshaw Moss".

With the sun winning the battle against the clouds (why couldn't it have done that when I was shivering on t'hill?), we see "Little Crowden Valley in a good light".

And looking over at where we had traversed earlier at some "heather on Bareholme Moss and looked west to Black Tor".

These are "Crowden Quarry spoil heaps".  It all looked a little surreal, with a small clump of trees in the foreground.

As we closed in on civilisation, Matt posed in the bright sunlight.  Like a climbing ninja, clad all in black.  "Cool dude" coos Jonny.  In the background "Torside Reservoir looking to the west".

And as we came down the hillside, there were more photo opportunities as the sun hit the water, as we see "Torside and Bleaklow below" on the left hand side...

...and on the right hand side "Crowden farm and youth hostel below Highstone Rocks".  (How does he know all these place names?  Probably making them all up.  That must be it.)

Jonny remarks "Paul is fond of that youth hostel building".  Honestly, I've never been here before in my life.

And that was that.  I was hobbling by the end after 5 or 6 hours walking - my body just ain't used to it - but it was worth it.  Might be a while before the next one, though...