An homage to Craig

...the story so far...

Craig is from Scotland.  Not a lot of people know this.  Which is because people rarely understand what he is saying.  Those that say he is from Scotland have merely guessed.  But he makes up for it by being a (generally) good bloke.  As this page attempts to demonstrate.

Firstly, we need to look back at where it all began, at PwC.  See how studious Craig looks, although he's probably just trying to generate a fiendishly difficult Countdown numbers game.

It's fair to say, however, that looking conscientious is probably a bit misleading.  This is more like it...

Yup, this is known as "adopting the pose (in a slightly drunken way)".  You'll notice how scruffy he looks, though, which is a symptom, unfortunately, of the relaxation of the dress code in the office.  It's a shame and most definitely something that wouldn't have happened in the olden days.  But wait: Mr Gillespie can do smart.  And intellectual.  All in one go.  Look.

Lest you think Craig has turned over a new leaf and become a serious, driven, business-type person, here is "Dizzy" test-driving his new car...

And, um, test-wearing his new make-up and wig collection.  Looking good, Mr G.

It's very much not all fun and games, though.  Life in the fast lane of the daily grind can get a might depressing on occasions, especially when the fuckwits opposite won't leave you alone.  This shot aches sadness.

But wait, he's cheered up again!  Hurrah for alcohol!  The cheeky chappy has bounced off the ropes and is fighting fit again!

Although the attack by a, um, whatever-the-hell-that-is soon wipes the smile off his Glaswegian face.

We've seen smart and casual, we've seen happy and sad, but pray silence please for incredulous.  It's the kind of look you would give when trying to figure out why a hot chick would choose to go out with an ugly bloke.  The truth hurts, man.

Speaking of whom...

Craig seems to be going for the "A Clockwork Orange" watching style.  Gave him something of a pain in the gulliver.  On the golf course, meanwhile, Craig is a wannabe golf player.  Wannabe in the sense that he wants to be able to play golf (much like your author, in fact).  Here he does his best Morgan Spurlock impression (he of Super Size Me fame).

See...

Separated at birth perhaps.  Craig is a keen cricket enthusiast (this visit to Old Trafford to watch England against West Indies was his first... ever).  It's a fine line between thoughtfulness and looking completely kaylied.

Ah, I think this gives us a clue.  He has finally hit his booze limit for the day.  Four pints of weak lager, basically.

Switching "sports", a determined-looking Craig slams another American pool ball in the pocket.  Get in the hole!  He lost this match, though.  Mwahaha.

In his defence, it had been a long, long night and he still hadn't recovered from the many jugs of beer and the thrashing at the hands of yours truly (although he did get his revenge a few weeks later with a narrow, Rage Against The Machine-inspired win).  The peshwari naan is clearly taking some effort.

"I had a dream..." about some drunken guy in a kilt at the Christmas do.  So inappropriate it is difficult to put into words.

In a shot not bound to impress the wife, Craig duets with some young lady from the office (I can't recall the song, though, perhaps fortunately).

Elvis Gillespie tucks into his, I think,10,000th pint at, I think, Dimitri's following, I think, a filmcorner visit.  Um, I think.  Who knows really - many of these shots are interchangeable.  There are three common points to tick off the list.  1.  Craig - check.  2.  Beer - check.  3.  Looking a bit gormless - check.

Craig mediates quietly before an important client meeting (um, benefit audit).  Either that or he is doing an "American Beauty".

He seemed to regard this intrusion of privacy with just a little anger.  One can't help but get distracted by his slightly off-tilt tie, though.  Sort it out, Scotty.

During an impromptu post-work beer session, Craig tries to remember where he lives and, indeed, what his name is.

The end.