At the Barlows'
Newton-le-Willows, Saturday 10th August 2013
Now, where was I? Ah yes, the leafy suburbs of Newton-le-Willows, in a game-themed back garden. Daisy couldn't really play table tennis (although she had a go as I recall), but she could get involved in the "throwing stuff into a container" type games, albeit from slightly closer range. Here she masters the art of lobbing a shuttlecock into a bucket, with me monitoring the situation (part mentor, part referee, all beer-drinker). [M]
"And look, I can do it with bouncy balls too!" (A knee appears to have crept into the picture, which is most distracting.) [M]
Daisy loves her fruit, but eating lemons is another matter. She proved game for a laugh with Matt, repeatedly munching on them and suffering the consequences, much to her uncle's amusement. Apparently this photo was taken by Mark. [M]
Here is a reminder of the types of games we were playing (all these in the theme of throw something into something) and the types of names that this family, i.e. Graham, is wont to give them. If I remember rightly (and I shall seek evidence of this), I kept up my record of being good at the throwing-things-into-buckets games, but broadly rubbish at anything else. [P]
And then it was time for the centre spread, the main course, the pièce de résistance... to which this measly photo cannot do earthly justice. Tarts and tattie skins, pastries and pots of perfection, breadsticks and butties, casseroles and curries, and much much more. Needless to say, we stuffed ourselves with as much as we dare, mindful of a cavalcade of desserts dutifully lining up on the food horizon. How we manoeuvre ourselves back out through the front door after these visits is eternally beyond me. [P]
And, after the gluttony, the playing with pretend ice creams. Sort of psychological preparation for the dessert course. [P]
Then it was time to pretend to be a baby, with Uncle Matt enjoying the privilege (and someone else being trusted with the camera). [M]
Aunty Katie also has a turn at mothering this gigantic baby while Matt does his best (but fails) not to look on jealously. But who is taking these photos? [M]
Even Jordan has a go at holding Daisy. Matt thinks that Jordan looks more interested in getting a smile on for the camera, rather than holding her properly, but Daisy knows the score. [P]
Back to my camera, and Daisy is busy being the ball-girl, retrieving and throwing the balls to Katie. [P]
But Daisy gets sick of running around after everyone and instead decides to hitch a ride on the Aunty Katie horse. [M]
Meanwhile, it was time for the always-fun table tennis non-stop round robin killer (as it's almost never called), as I look to be reluctantly accepting a small frying pan as my table tennis bat (there weren't enough to go around). [M]
There was a slight delay to proceedings as Daisy stopped play, much to Mark's amusement. [M]
And then the games began. First up, Katie had to stretch for her shot. [M]
As Katie hightailed out of the way, I seemed to play quite an elevated shot. Apart from the ridiculous sight of me playing with a pan, the other amusement arising was due to the sound of the pan hitting the ping pong ball, and its contrast to the shots played with the normal bats. It went something like tap-tap-tap-tap-dink!-tap-tap. I'm missing out there, of course, the squeals and squeaks as the players got hurriedly into position to play their strokes. [M]
Mark mastered the tricky art of playing a forehand on the backhand side whilst running and he was so impressed that he pointed at the shot AS HE WAS PLAYING IT. Not many can do that. [M]
I've included this shot mainly because it involves a delightful use of footwork, betraying Graham's history of a life in the ballroom. Matt later pointed out that Graham is cheating here, having swapped his usual comfortable loafers for some sort of hybrid approach shoes for "EXTRA GRIP!". [M]
Jonathan looks on as I struggle to reach and return a shot. I probably didn't succeed in this but, hey, I had a pan! [M]
Mark was asked to calculate his remaining lives. This is his carry-the-remainder face. Helen clearly refused to help him while Jonathan remains in the same position, frozen in the face of mathematical adversity. However, on closer inspection (well, prompting from Matt), it appears that a bee is troubling Helen's hair and Mark is trying to find out where exactly it is. [M]
Having had the bee pointed out, it gives me reason to give one of the follow-up photos, which sees Mark try to find exactly where the bee is, as Helen looks on mildly amused and Aunty Janet moves in closer, somewhat concerned at our buzzing friend (or perhaps enemy) and ready to pounce with the table tennis bat. [M]
Right then: some ball-throwing action must now recommence. Jonathan goes for a rather casual, square-on stance. Jordan and either Helen or the latest Terminator model look in. [P]
Such concentration deployed by Jordan. I don't think that's going to go in, though, I'm afraid. [P]
Next up, Lynnie Scho, with her patented two-fingers-and-a-thumb grip. [P]
Some were mote interested in hair sculpture, Daisy showing particularly deep levels of concentration. [P]
Katie reciprocated the service as Daisy sat obediently on the grass. [P]
The klaxon sounded: DESSERT! Sue launched straight in with reckless slicing (or scooping) abandon. [M]
Here is the complete spread: meringues, cakes, fruit, chocolates, cheese and biscuits, bread and more. Nurse! Fetch me my spare stomach! [P]
Aunty Janet was delighted with the bottle of Katzpiss, a present from Katie. [M]
I'm not entirely sure what Daisy was trying to do here, other than walk with a really wide stance. Perhaps that was simply her aim. (In which case, she succeeded.) [M]
My turn for the tennis-ball-into-the-areas game, at which I was pretty rubbish (since it wasn't a throwing-things-into-buckets game). [M]
Daisy headed inside for some dancing. [M]
Nic's turning at lobbing the tennis balls. She did rather well at this game, as we shall see. [M]
Matt's turn, so it's not him taking the picture, clearly (call me Sherlock). [M]
Nic risks getting soapy water in the delicate mechanics of the expensive camera that Matt owns by blowing a succession of bubbles at him. [M]
This is more of the inside dancing action, as Sue inventively fashions some maracas from the plastic lollipops. [P]
Well now, it's 20 past 7 and Daisy is tiring (not surprisingly given that it has been a day of non-stop action and eating), so it's time for us to retire for the evening. [M]
That did mean that we missed the presentation for Nic's victory in the tennis-ball-into-areas game (sorry, it's call Balls in Rings - see the scoreboard at the end), which was very well-deserved as she beat all opponents into complete submission, managing more than double the score of anyone else. [M]
Leaving mid-evening meant that we missed the inevitable crazy drinks... [M]
...although given Nic's reaction to this one, perhaps that's not a bad thing. [M]
Matt demonstrates his late night penchant for the exotic. [M]
Whilst Mark pushes his luck by blowing bubbles into Helen's face. [M]
And then it's time for some evening killer table tennis in the dusk light (I think it's after 9pm here). [M]
Look who went out first in this round... Cracking pout, Katie. [M]
And these are the final scores, captured by Katie before the end of the night. Technically, I shared the Cock in Bucket victory with Daisy, although naturally she had a shorter distance to throw the shuttlecocks from (I felt compelled to point that out). As previously mentioned, Nic thrashed all-comers in the Balls in Rings game. It's hard to see who came second in that, but it could have been AJ (if we ignore the big line crossing out her score). In the final game, Balls in Bucket, I also managed to narrowly triumph, scraping ahead of Matt. Whilst it's not clear what happened to his second go, I would trust Graham's score summation with my life (OK, perhaps not my life, perhaps something significantly less valuable (he worked for a bank after all)). This particular game proved very hard to score, it seems, as there are a lot of zeroes, so it must have invoked something from the Allen brothers' childhood. Not featured: the table tennis scores (although no scores were kept of the killer games - pretty sure Mark and Graham did well in that, and perhaps Jordan). That is all from stats corner. [K]
Anyway, a fun time was had by all. Now its time to go back to the Secret Portal.