Aberfeldy (part one)
April 2010
Having got back from Iceland on the Wednesday, we wasted no time in setting off for bonnie wee Scotland the very next day. Having spent a couple of nights at the Haddington Hilton (with the senior Schofields), Lynne jetted back to Heaton Chapel for the England twinnies' christening, while I drove further north to Aberfeldy, to the farm (and home) of the Mcdiarmids (aka cousin Nicky and Calum, plus kids and an assortment of animals).
Unfortunately, whilst the satnav device got me in the vague vicinity of the farm, I pretty much dropped off the end of the map. My first attempt to find the precise location of the farm took me down a steep, narrow road to a farmhouse which turned out not to be the right one. Well, to cut a dull story short, a couple of calls and I finally managed to reach my destination, confirmed by a plethora of young children who came gambolling down the driveway.
It turned out that a fair number of the family had made their way up there, thus creating the logistical nightmares to which they are well used. The plan was to go for an energetic walk up a hill (always a good plan to knacker out the young 'uns), so we all assembled in various vehicles, ready to roll out. Here, I drew the short straw, getting the kidsmobile, with a dog (not pictured) at my feet (in fact, sitting on my toes). For the uninitiated, we have (left to right) Jordan (no, not that one), Eddie, Matt and, making a special guest appearance, Imogen's arms.
More will follow... shortly...
...and does now in fact. Engravings told of mythical treasure buried up in the hills, and it was our quest to retrieve these ancient riches.
Emboldened by this discovery, the intrepid explorers set off into uncharted territory. Who knows what adventures they would get up to...
Lord Gibbon was king of all he surveyed. Either that or he was doing a sneaky pee against the tree. Cast your vote.
The exploring children made good early progress, although in an unusual development Eddie had developed horns made of branches.
Gandalf was getting too old for this lark - his back was giving him gyp already.
Something that Eddie had said had clearly upset Jordan, who walked off ahead. Probably something to do with sticks.
In the beginning, there was simply vegetation. And a determined Nicky. Whilst Simon and I (and a couple of the children) had travelled by a higher, much easier path, the rest of the party had somehow decided that this was the only way to progress. (I say "path", but we had long since lost track of where the actual path was. As I've said, this was an adventure in search of long-lost treasure, so there were unlikely to be paths, right?)
Encouraged by us on the other side, they got stuck in (almost literally).
Slowly but surely, an opening developed, as brave Sir Calum of McDiarmidshire grappled with the native flora, and the promise of rescue came from the other side.
The air was full with the sound of determination, and of Tommy crying, as Calum hoisted Matt up to negotiate some tricky branches.
The end seemed nigh as the fairly miserable-looking procession trudged their way out of living, breathing hell. Nicky uses a classical wrestling grip to transport one of the dogs (don't ask me its name). Eddie, surely a future Mountain Rescuer, led the way.
But all was not quite well. In a surprising twist, Tommy expressed his displeasure at the situation he was in - this was most definitely not what he had signed up for. Debbie had evidently failed her Carry A Four-Year-Old Through Overgrown Wilderness course and brave Sir Calum hurtled back at breakneck speed for some more rescuing.
"Give the wee sprat ter me" was the battle cry heard uttered from brave Sir Calum's lips. Debbie was only glad to do so. Imogen decided that this was the time for some disco dancing. Inappropriate does not begin to describe it.
After the family had (finally) been reunited, we made progress up the hill once more. Whilst most of the tears had subsided, Tommy decided that ignorance was the best policy, and flipped down his hood as Alison tried to console him. Eddie shows good stick usage.
And, what seemed like an eternity since we last had a merest glimpse of civilization's work, we found The Path. Not The Path To Enlightenment, not The Path To Glory, but just The Path To Where We Ruddy Well Wanted To Go In The First Place. And there was much rejoicing.
Now a member of the stick club (although that would soon change when he destroyed his stick on mine), Tommy was a happy boy again. Question for readers: how long will this last?
Answers on a postcard please. Next update may or may not reveal all. (Personally I've no idea, since I've not scanned ahead in the photos.) And I'll leave you with news that Jordan was recently discovered to secretly worship a tree trunk of Jesus, aka Jim with a big beard (aka Bim - what's that all about?, aka Dave, aka whatever else takes people's fancy basically). He his look betrays a mixture of surprise and guilt. Very furtive.
More soon, avid readers.
Which is in fact the very next day. Aren't you lucky? Well, the exciting adventures of our intrepid explorers had left nerves frayed, as shown by the photo below, with Debbie showing mild confusion and Calum displaying a look of pure thunder. They are, of course, obscuring some beautiful scenery. Down in front!
Alison shows no shame by using a rock enclave doubled as a latrine but, boys, stop watching! Mind you, I did take a photo.
Ah here we have some of the scenery, without people in the way - the agricultural patchwork of the British countryside. But there's rain in them thar hills!
Ok, time for the Jordan show interlude. Firstly, just how scary a face can he do? Answer: very. You wouldn't mess, would you? Mainly because he probably hasn't washed.
Tommy and Jordan do battle for control for the land in the junior version of Robin Hood. Sticks were a running theme.
Jordan shows off his stick-wielding skills. I can confirm that he was actually spinning it rather than just dropping it, as it looks in the photo.
There is certainly no shortage of home-made toilets in this neck of the woods. Not sure I recommend taking your dog with you, though. In actual fact, they were merely sheltering from the light rain shower. The wimps.
That's your lot for now.
But the great thing about now is that next always follows quite quickly. Along our path of discovery, we came across a large tree which had fell and ruptured its trunk quite spectacularly.
Our next destination were the old rope swings, on which Imogen was keen to show off her newly learned tricks. Trick one: sit there and look mildly disinterested.
The hooded Ferneys closed ranks whilst, in the background, Debbie tries to photo the dog doing tricks, Gandalf gives himself and his stick a well-earned rest, and Nicky tries out the latest approximation to a toilet.
That's enough pictures for this page, so it's time for Aberfeldy - part two